Seventeen interviews were conducted in the spring of 2024 to explore exceptional service experiences from the perspective of older women who are GBV victim-survivors and service providers as a first step toward identifying the qualities that help create the optimal conditions in a service relationship.
At the heart of what women told us, there are common ideas: listen, take time with me, show respect for my story and choices, be present, be kind.
The status quo prioritizes efficiency over care, control over autonomy, risk management over trust, and cost-savings over people. The often invisible, and mostly unintentional, institutional harms that affect women in gender-specific ways will persist without meaningful intervention. To centre women and relationships is to create conditions that foster genuine connection, healing, and mutual respect in every interaction.
This kind of care work is not a small shift, it’s a radical departure from business-as-usual, and it’s necessary.
“I told my story to the shelter staff. They believed me. They never doubted me. They never asked, “really?” or “are you sure?” They were crazy stories, but they knew it was true. That made my whole time at the shelter really wonderful.”
“My counsellor practiced mirroring a lot. She helped me to see my happy, hopeful, enthusiastic self.”
“In my mind, I am part of a sisterhood. You’re not alone.”
“If women are moving slower, it’s not because they’re old or dumb. It may be because they’re being thoughtful and cautious.”
“It's up to her. Success is about how she feels. Does she feel safer in the end? Is she able to manage her own life in a way that's acceptable to her? It isn't always about leaving the relationship."
"We're going to listen to the woman, we're going to accompany her, because that's the feminist approach. We don't tell the woman what she's going to do, and we support her in her decisions."
"A positive experience means first and foremost that the woman feels listened to, at ease and confident."
At the heart of what women told us, there are common ideas:
listen, take time with me, show respect for my story and choices, be present, be kind.
CNPEA builds awareness, support and capacity for a coordinated pan-Canadian approach to the prevention of elder abuse and neglect. We promote the rights of older adults through knowledge mobilization, collaboration, policy reform and education.
The Wildflower Project is a 5-year initiative led by CNPEA and informed by a diverse group of partners across many sectors including shelters, interval and transition housing, violence against women, elder abuse, and community support services for older adults.
Learn more about CNPEA
